T on Sweaty Betty's

Sweaty Betty's
Address: 13 Ossington Avenue (three doors north of Queen Street West)
Tel: 416-535-6861
Hours of operation: Open everyday ("except maybe Christmas Day") 5pm to 2am

For the premiere outing of T &B Toronto Firsts, I chose Sweaty Betty’s. It wasn’t difficult to convince B that it was a good choice. B is a sassy, sexy lady who loves her beer and Sweaty Betty’s, in my mind, was going to be just that – sass, sex and beer.

Maybe I was grossly mislead by the name of the establishment – Sweaty Betty’s. Sure, many of the patrons might have been sweaty, but that was probably because the place was so small. I sure didn’t see very many “betties.” Anyone resembling a betty was with a huge posse of indie rock-looking boys or so engaged in conversation with another potential betty that I couldn’t even see their faces. I thought Sweaty Betty’s was a dyke bar! And maybe it was, but I am just a douche who has a narrow and limited idea of what dykes look like (oh, you know what I’m talking about).

The bar was packed when we arrived. We couldn’t get a seat in the “lounge” area at the back of the bar, which was really unfortunate. The lounge was a world in of itself. Maroon walls and heavy black curtains; lush, stuffed sofas; warm-lit lamps with detailed lampshades; and countless framed portraits of tattooed individuals from past eras. It was gorgeous back there, somewhere I would have loved to spend a late Thursday evening. The lucky bastards who managed to snatch a seat in the lounge were all engrossed in lively conversation with one another, which was exactly what I was looking for. I’m actually a closeted pretentious fuck who just wants the finest things in life; to consume cappuccinos during the day, expensive beers at night and cultural theory all day.

We ended up sitting at the bar, where B bought me a Red Stripe (thanks again, B!). Unfortunately for us, we sat next to some creepy leery dude who wouldn’t stop looking at us (who later called B “sweetie”). Seriously, out with the creeps and in with the betties! Come on now. Blegh.

I still can’t decide whether I found our bartender’s up-sale eagerness irritating or charming. I have never been to a bar where the bartender brought over second rounds of the same drinks we were still finishing, in an attempt to get us to buy more alcohol. Okay, in the span of that last sentence, I decided it was a turn-off, but also recognize that it’s just something you do as a pro-active bartender who wants to go home with that much more tips at the end of the night. So props to him for hustling.

Sweaty Betty's also hosts regular events, including Sake Sundays. On Sundays, at 3pm, you can catch Asian action flicks in the back room for free. Oh, and sake is 25 per cent off, all day and all night. This is definitely something I would like to check in out in the future. (If anyone would like to join me, please email me at poopytoothpaste@gmail.com)

My time at Sweaty Betty’s ended earlier than B’s. Some of B’s friends from work came to join us and seeing as how little seating there was, I gave up my seat and headed out to make another appearance at my next destination.

I would definitely check out Sweaty Betty’s again. It’s a great little spot. I can see myself getting attached to this place, eventually turning into one of those cranky, bitchy Friday night regulars who doesn't think anyone else is good enough to be there. Whatever happens, this time, I am getting a spot in the lounge and channeling my elitist self.

(photo credit: sweatybettysbar.com)